Building Character on the Pitch
Welcome to Ice Cream League Soccer. What could be more adorable than a bunch of five year olds playing “swarm ball”. There is very little organization in this game other than the kids swarming around the soccer ball like it is a ball of ice cream.
From head to toe they are covered in soccer gear. Jerseys down to their knees, shorts half way down to their ankles, knee socks up to the thighs, and the soccer ball seems as big as they are. It’s so nice to see such young kids getting outside and running around (if even in circles) and doing something other than watching TV.
I don’t think that youth sports is all about winning at this age, at least it shouldn’t be. But lo and behold, there is the die hard coach who thinks it is. Has your kiddo ever played a game where they just got crushed? (Later, we can have some fun talking about coaching strategies and being sensitive to how you crush five year old opponents - jk.)
Our first experience of getting crushed caught me a bit off guard. I didn’t care about losing. I was just trying to figure out how to ease the pain of this crushing for my little girl, who is now running around in circles chasing a too big soccer ball with soccer ball size tears rolling down her cheeks. I couldn’t wait for the game to be over.
We tried not to make a big deal about it. We just casually told her that one team usually loses in any game and sometimes it’s by big points, and sometimes it’s by little points - how about you just go on out to the goal and score a buncha points on Dad. (That’s called a “redirect”) Pretty soon, the crush was a distant memory and she was having a great time laughing and scoring points, and teasing about what a terrible “goalie” her daddy is.
How do you get into anything philosophical with five year olds? I think at this age you don’t try too hard. Just scoop ‘em up, and redirect ‘em. At least it worked for her. But what if it doesn’t? How do you handle it if your child is dwelling on it? They don’t give the high fives or handshakes after the game? Whines that they hate the game and fights you over going to the next one? Do you let them quit or make them stick it out?
If it were me, I would make them finish their commitment. It is their responsibility to stay through to the end. It doesn’t matter whether it’s sports, scouting, music or art classes – if they start it, they must finish it. Hopefully, the fun times will outweigh the not so fun times and they will grow to love the ’game’, and the camaraderie and social benefit that comes with being a part of any organized activity.
I like to think that times like “losing badly” builds character. It may be some time before they reap the benefits of these character building moments at such a tender age - but it is sure to be worth the wait!
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