Living in a world where sometimes it is easier to appease our child for the moment with a quick toy or treat in order to continue on with the rigors of what must get done, is a quick, but dangerous fix. It is proven that it is quite difficult to stay on course when we get overwhelmed with the demands of our screaming little voices.

Still, patience prevails !

I have learned from experience that many of the lessons we try to teach our kids are easy to embrace if we are consistent and if they make sense.  We have all heard a child in a toy store yelling “I want that toy!” to their parent, or another child demanding that they need a treat because one of their friends has one.  

One day while watching a television commercial for a toy, my son Keanu said “Mom, I want that.” I quickly responded  “That is great, perhaps we can figure out a way for you to earn it”.  I wanted to instill the lesson that things didn’t arrive on his doorstep just because he circled them in a catalog.  There was a process that he needed to understand and that  just by asking for something didn’t mean he would get it, even if she asked loudly or repeatedly.  I wanted him to learn that the way he asked for things was so very important. If the messenger is rude or abrupt, the message gets quickly nullified.  If he forgot and asked for a toy with “I Want” or “I Need”, I would ask them to rephrase it and say “Mom, How can I earn that?”  Keanu was probably only 4 years old at the time ,but he got it right away.

Today our children will ask me if they can earn larger playdates with their friends.  It gives them the power to feel that they are somehow in control of their lives and with conscious behavior they will be able to earn rewards.  It also helps me to keep them in line and not feeling entitled to things that have not been earned.  Try this simple tip today and see how quickly you can get your child to change the way he or she asks for things.

Related posts:

1. Dealing with Tantrums

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Filed under: Behavior