I never gave age one thought when I was younger. I never felt as though women of a certain age were old or that grandparents were ancient.  In my home, my parents spoke with admiration of those with wisdom, teaching my brothers and I that with age comes true beauty.  

And then….I woke up one morning and was 40.  Really?  The number didn’t resonate with how I felt physically, how I felt mentally, how I THOUGHT I looked.  But what was age anyway?  Just a number.  Bring on the true beauty!

I gave birth to my children when I was 36 and 38.  When my younger child was a toddler, I bent over to pick him up and my back went out.  What in the heck was that?  I’d always been an athlete, I’d always exercised - why was my body betraying me?  My doctor informed me that I may always have trouble with this vulnerable area of my lower back.  I should resign myself to the fact that I could never take up golf or tennis lessons - that even bowling would be questionable.  Really?  How do I reinvent my life at the tender age of 39?

And then….I threw my back out again at age 40.  What’s with this age thing, anyway?  ”Take vicodin, ibuprofen, and soma, Melissa - call me on Monday.”  I’m not too keen on pharmaceuticals - I’d always lie down and take a nap rather than an aspirin.  But this particular weekend?  Bring on the meds!  

Owning a spa and having travelled worldwide speaking about energy and authentic living, I immersed myself in alternative practices.  I became educated on as many subjects as I could handle about my health.  I was determined that I would be the master of my physical well-being and not just allow my life to happen to me or allow my body to fall apart.  Whose master plan is it for 40 to be the turn-key for physical ruination?

Over the last few years I have worked out diligently, focused on nutriceuticals, been fastidious about what I eat, and continued my life of meditation and energy awareness.  I surround myself with people whose energy vibrates on levels similar to mine or even higher.  

And then…I threw my back out two weeks ago….and then again last week.  Feeling dejected - and rather sorry for myself…I contacted a friend of mine in Chicago to talk about this back thing.  She began reading me notes from a lecture she attended where the speaker shared lessons on physical awareness.  Apparently, medical intuitives believe that when one has an ailment, it is connected to a mental/emotional kink.  Throat problems?  Not speaking your truth enough.  Chest pains?  Inability to forgive.  Pain in the lower back/sciatica trouble?  Worry over money.

Say it again?  Worry over money?  With the economy as it is?  With the collective energy vibrating at a base level of fear?  Of course that’s what it is!  I’ve been so caught up in the media’s over-coverage of failures that I have been suppressing my fears.  I was worried right after I had baby and we had just opened up another business.  I was worried around the time I turned 40 and we opened up our fourth business.  Well done!  Deal with the fear and worries and this should start to work itself out.  

“Who was this brilliant speaker,” I asked?

My friend answered, “Melissa Yamaguchi.”

Ahem.  Physician heal thyself?  I’m off to practice what I preach and pull my energy up from the depths of fear and rise to the position of belief.  Belief in who we are as a people, belief in the power of positive thoughts, belief in myself and belief in you, and belief in the beauty of us.

True beauty, indeed.

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