When my son was 2 years old he could throw some really big tantrums - screaming fits that would last what seemed, hours. This was foreign to me since my first son was easygoing and listened to basically whatever I said. My second son at 2 years was a whole different story.

I learned quickly that consistency and staying calm was vital to the length of tantrums and helping him pull himself out of it. But I knew I had to educate myself on how to deal with him and his intense, very sensitive ways.

Daniel was 2 and we were at Barnes and Noble one morning. I was now 6 months pregnant with our 3rd child. We went in to play trains and well, just to let me rest. He was doing great until he started to take all the trains and the sharing was over. I immediately told him we would have to leave if he did not give the other little boys some trains.

He would not, so I took him outside and sat on the bench and we talked. He agreed in as much as his 2 year old mind could agree, that  if I gave him another chance, he would share. We went back in and started to play. With myself being involved to watch his every move, things were great at first until his little brain forgot our agreement and he started to hoard the trains again. I warned him, “we are going home if you do not share” but he ignored me and kept grabbing all the trains. I picked him up to leave and he lost his mind kicking and screaming.By now I am big as a house, walking calmly as I can through the bookstore and my son is hanging sideways kicking and screaming like mad. I was praying no one I knew would see this. We got to the car and I was very upset. To avoid me doing something I would regret, I put him in his car seat - it took all the strength I had to hold him down and strap him in. I slammed the door and leaned against the car and started to cry. He screamed for several minutes while I called my husband crying saying , “I don’t know how I am going to do this when the 3rd baby arrives”. He assured me all will be OK and to calm down.

After I calmed down I got in the car and just started to drive. He was so exhausted from his tantrum he just fell asleep. I kept crying and soon came to my senses. All will be OK as I looked back at my sweet angelic little boy that I love so much sleeping so peacefully. When he woke up we talked and I said that is unacceptable and every time you don’t share and you scream and yell, we will have no more play time.

OK, so here we are 2 months later and I actually forgot about the incident ( if you can believe that) .We went back to Barnes and Noble to read books and play.

My 2 year old son grabbed my face with his little hand and turned me toward him, and said “Mommy, I share or I know you will take me right out of here”. I couldn’t believe my ears. He had not forgotten the consequences of his actions and promised not to do it again.

He did great with trains, shared and we had a nice time (thank God).

I realized he was definitely challenging me and when he realized I was not going to give into his tantrum he never forgot it. He is now 8 and we laugh about this all the time. He is to this day a very strong-willed child who challenges me daily. I remind myself this characteristic in the future will drive him to do many great things in life. A few books I read when he was younger that helped me tremendously deal with his tantrums and strong willed personality is “Bringing up Boys” by Dr. James Dobson, “Raising your spirited Child” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, and ” 7 Habits of Highly Effective families” by Stephen Covey.

If you find yourself wondering how to get through the day without a tantrum there is so much support and help out there. Don’t just say “Oh well that is just my child”. The more you educate yourself and work on changing your response to their behavior, a whole new world awaits you, I promise. I lived it and now my strong-willed, spirited, persistent 8 year old child received almost all A’s, has lots of friends, and shares very well ( most of the time) :).  It is not easy, but can be worked through.

No related posts.

Filed under: Behavior